I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize