I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
