You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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