My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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