I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
