It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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