I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
