I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
