we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm sobbing to NWA
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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