He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
