She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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