Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just want nice things and good sex
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
where are my pants?
in the oven.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
