she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
