If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
