how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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