so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
