I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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