I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
my liver is dry heaving
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
