If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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