Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I touched a dick in church today
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
