That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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