OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
