Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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