the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
