well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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