like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
