And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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