Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We left the knife in your bed.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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