how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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