is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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