why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
