I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
