Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
