i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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