one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
