If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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