Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
