I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
