Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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