hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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