I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
