walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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