are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
