He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
