There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
