When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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