i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize