omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
