Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
