Just cropdusted the office
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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