I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
