i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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