And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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