I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
