you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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