Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
