I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Don't EVER smell your tampon
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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