Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
