I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
