I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
