Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
