gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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