Where is the hickey?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
