i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
