In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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