Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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